Life after High School

I can remember very clearly about a year ago when Chelsea started her final year at high school that it hit me…..What is the plan for her after she graduates??

We had been so focused on getting her to the finish line that I had NEVER actually thought about what was next. The fantastic support system of the school environment, as much as she did not enjoy it was about to end……I now had to help her focus on the NEXT step. A Lovely Victory

We said that she could have some time off after school to just unwind and relax as it was an exhausting few years. It sounded so great to her to not have pressure about what to be thinking of next, but in reality, Chelsea soon became bored being at home and being with friends every day. So 3 months after graduation and although there was no daily outburst of emotions and anxiety towards school…..what next?

The thought of going to college is too much for her at the moment, and she would love to work but only part-time – as she would like to have money in order to go out and do things…” the bank of Mum and Dad” was drying up!!! It was just challenging to find that perfect balance for her. I can understand that future employees look at her resume and see that she has only committed to babysitting and volunteering but has not been out into the BIG world and worked. Yet, she is almost 18years of age. Why is she only wanting a part-time position (we felt that a part-time job was a good starting point and would give her time to have some downtime) If she tells an employer that she has anxiety, will that scare them off because they are worried she can’t commit….We didn't know?? We could hire her as we certainly have plenty of work she can do? (After all, she has worked occasionally for us before), but working with Mum and Day is not necessarily what she wants to do, which we can appreciate. It is also not helping her to build confidence and meet new people.

Through Child and Youth Mental Health, they introduced her to a Social Worker who helped her compile a resume and cover letter. At first, I was upset as I could have helped her with this, but it was better to have her work with someone as then she was accountable to them. They helped her to apply for jobs, took her to drop off her resume and prepared her for prospective interviews. What no one did (including us) was to prepare her for not hearing back from people. This was very discouraging for her as after applying for 5 jobs, and NO ONE called her back. I encouraged her to call and follow up (this was challenging for her to do), and she would be told that someone would get back to her ….but nothing. It was hard to watch her go from excitement to feeling useless.

She was invited in for an interview at a Dog Kennel, and she was absolutely thrilled as she loves working with animals. However, I am not sure when she applied did she consider the next step ‘the interview!!!” The days leading up were hard as her anxiety became worse. She went through the emotions of “I can’t go – I can’t do this – This was a stupid idea” and the big one “what if they ask me something that I don’t know the answer to?” We spent time compiling a list of relevant questions for her to ask and some keywords to help prompt answers during the interview.

We arrived early as I know that for her, it is better to just take her time and not rush. It was so hard seeing her struggle with getting out of the car and actually walking into the office with a happy face. I felt like I was sitting there for ages when, in reality, it was about 30 mins, but I was now the one anxiously waiting……Then I saw the happy smiling face walking back to the car, you could see the relief in her face. The interview went really well, and she was excited and so proud of herself for having pushed through the emotions and gone in.

The following week she was invited in for an interviewed at a Vet Clinic. She went through the same emotions about the interview, but having one under her belt, although extremely anxious, she was a little more confident as she went in. The long and the short of this is she was offered a part-time job at the Vets, and she accepted it.

This job has been a fantastic opportunity for Chelsea and has given her so much confidence and self-esteem. Her anxiety still flares up both before and during work, but she has explained to her colleagues to just give her some space and a few minutes in order to pull herself together, and they are happy to do so......plus she gets to play with the dogs which really helps calm her down. Emotional Overload

I think at times when our children are so anxious, it is easier to tell them that it is ok and that they do not have to continue, but for us, we know when we can push Chelsea to do things out of her comfort level and also when to take a step back. Every child is different, and we know how to handle Chelsea (most of the time) we knew that in the long run finding a job would be good for her. We are extremely lucky and grateful that she is in an environment that understands her. Working part-time is the perfect situation for her as she has downtime to work on what she needs emotionally to get through the day. However, she has proved to herself that by pushing past her anxiety, she can go out and work…..and the paycheques are a welcome and happy reward!!!

The other day she surprised us as she is now talking about going to college to become a Vet Technician. These are all small steps, but by taking it slowly and with a little encouragement, Chelsea is learning to manage her emotions and use her tools to manage her anxiety within the BIG WIDE WORLD.

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