Bedroom Battles

One of our battles at home is Chelsea’s bedroom as it’s always in a state of utter chaos. Who remembers the Looney cartoon character, “The Tazmanian devil?” Whenever he goes into a spin, everything in his path is thrown in every direction? Well, this completely describes her room. Absolutely nothing makes sense, her clothes are all over the floor anything, and everything she may have used is “YUPP” you’ve guessed it all over her room. And if you saw her bed, you would be shocked that she can actually get a decent nights sleep!! I use to give up and go in to clean it, but this would cause arguments as its HER ROOM, and she likes to know where everything is ….which to me is an oxymoron but as

Dr. Bourgh Carter explains:

Clutter can play a significant role in how we feel about our homes, our workplaces, and ourselves. Messy homes and workspaces leave us feeling anxious, helpless, and overwhelmed. Yet, rarely is clutter recognized as a significant source of stress in our lives.

We have always wanted the girls to feel happy and to enjoy their rooms. When they were younger, we never as a punishment told them to go to their room as this was their safe, fun and comfortable place. Instead, they would sit and have time out around where we were. Simon and I take great pride in our home and try to keep it neat and tidy ~ not all the time but for the most part. However, the girl's rooms are their own. Posters and photos have been stuck on the walls, and they have had input into decorating, so if their room is a mess that’s their choice. To a point as they are also responsible for cleaning their rooms and if you can’t open the door fully because of the mess, how can it be clean!!

So this is where I get involved sending Chelsea into her room to make some sense of it. Chelsea lacks concentration and motivation, so very little would be accomplished, which is frustrating, to say the least. Also if you’re already anxious walking into such a turmoil it surely makes both your anxiety and depression worse,  she may not feel that she actually deserves a clean space and I don’t think half the time she actually sees the mess.

When we ask her about it, she replies that she likes seeing everything around her and knows where “HER STUFF” is….Not sure if I totally believe that but I'm not Chelsea.

A little mess in their bedroom is somewhat ok but when dishes and glasses also get sucked into the vortex of her room and no washing has been done for a while “Mum has to step in.”

I don’t clean for her but facilitate the process and keep her accountable for her time in there. Starting with small tasks like getting rid of all dirty dishes and cups. I'm always shocked at what is found in there!!! Next cleaning off the bed, washing it and completely making it. My logic in that is if she can see how great her room can look with just a made bed, it could help with the big picture.

 Then comes the clothes ~ her wardrobe and chest of drawers as they are a complete shambles, so helping her sort clean from dirty etc. and helping to fold and hang is not just a help for Chelsea but a great time to hang out together and talk. Before you know it you’re relieved to see she still has a carpet and that her room is so much bigger now that there is no more clutter all over the place!!

Now you may think and wonder how long since she last cleaned her room ~ well SHOCK HORROR this is roughly biweekly!! If her Mental Health is good, then her room is like most teenagers, a bit messy maybe but easy to clean up in a matter of minutes. However, when Chelsea is anxious or depressed, her room follows her mood and so it spirals.

The monumental task of cleaning her room could for the average child be done in a single day, but for Chelsea, if we focus on a task or two a day it's not so overwhelming for her and the cleaning up process can be somewhat easily achieved over a period of time. It's important to have realistic expectation when you have a child with anxiety, or any mental health issues by helping them to understand that by doing tasks gradually they can accomplish anything….like a CLEAN ROOM!!

MENTAL HEALTH